“Before you find your soulmate, you must first discover your soul.” ~Charles F. Glassman
For centuries, we have been conditioned to believe that finding our “one true love” is what we need to achieve happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Little girls see the Disney princesses struggling throughout the story, until they find their prince and all is right with the world again. And little boys see the knight in shining armor battle for the heart of that princess, to save her. So, from the cradle we are taught that our own happiness lies in another person.
As we journey through life and add years to our experience, we realize this belief couldn’t be further from the truth. In the words of George Carlin – “It’s like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.” Imagine if our childhood princesses and princes were focused on finding themselves instead of each other, how much different our perception of happiness would be as we grow up.
If we go through life looking for our happiness in others, we just setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment. That’s why so many relationships end. We enter into a partnership expecting the other person to complete us, but the reality is that’s not how it works. If two people enter into a relationship, both expecting the other to make them happy, they’re inevitably going to let each other down. That’s when resentment and bitterness begin to grow and that’s usually the beginning of the end. But, if we shift our focus to finding our own passion and then acquiring the skills and education to use that passion to make a living, we have a much better chance of attracting the right partner.
So, no matter how old you are or how many failed relationships you’ve lived through, start now by shifting your focus from outside-in, to inside-out. Search your soul. What makes you happy, excited, joyously alive? Whether it’s making music, working with finance, caring for animals or driving a school bus – find what it is you are meant to do with your life and then focus all your energy on pursuing that. If you do, you will end up being surrounded by people with similar interests and belief systems as you. You will just naturally attract people that are better suited to you. And because you are no longer expecting the other person to make you content, that inevitable resentment is no longer an issue.
Of course, there are many other elements to building a relationship that will last and we will definitely be covering those topics in future articles. For now, though, get started by searching your soul for what makes you feel complete. Make your life fulfilling and satisfying on your own, so when you do find that special person and fall in love, you will enrich each other’s lives and add to the happiness you have each already found within yourselves.